The unintended implication is an obsession with labelling and pathologizing that says that it's not gender or workplace norms that need to be interrogated, it's you. It's similar to "neurotypical" as an imagined class of people who are completely comfortable with the social and mental expectations of their jobs and would never understand what it's like to get overwhelmed or feel out of place. If gender expectations are as constrictive as we say they are, then this imagined class of people who are okay with gender expectations 100% of the time with no complications is just that. I don't mean any of this in a weird way but if we're interested in breaking down binaries, we can't cling onto the binary of cis versus trans. Im proud of you, i love you, and i am so so so grateful that youre here and that i share community with you your journey had brought you to where you are and who you sre now, and you are a beautiful, magnificent, awesome, effervescent, intelligent and multifaceted human being whose joruney and story and lesbianism deserves respect. You are a lesbian, you have always been a lesbian. compulsory heterosexuality, patriarchy, misogyny and lesbophobia are to blame. please do not blame yourself for it, nor for still feeling the doubts and worries about it even after youve realised your lesbianism, my dear. the pressure to be attracted to and have sex with and be with men is constant, and the weight is immense. you are not to blame, and you are not wrong for doing so before realising your sexuality. Its not your fault that you thought you liked men, or have been with men before realising youre actually a lesbian. the pressure to be with men is constant outside and inside the lgbtq community, because we still unfortunately still live in and amongst ferocious misogyny and lesbophobia from all sides.
Previous history with men doesnt make you less of a lesbian, or a fake lesbian. It was taken from her, but she still cares enough to spend her time traveling and speaking and meeting with influential people who have a direct impact on the women’s game.Dear lesbians who have thought you had crushes on men, have dated men, and/or have slept with men before realising you were a lesbian. She has no source of income anymore, no job, no career, no means of livelihood. She fights for all women, and she does it selflessly. Other national teams openly praise her and look up to her because she fights for them too, she has the power to be a global voice for teams and countries that do not have a voice at all, where the women’s teams aren’t just treated unequally or unfairly, but struggle to even exist. She wants what is best for the game and female athletes all over the globe.
But she cares enough about the future generations of this sport that she’s willing to devote her time, now for more than 20 years total and 2 years post playing career, to continue to push for change. She wants to be home on her farm with her chickens and live a quiet life.
She doesn’t have to, she doesn’t want a life in the spotlight or the media. She still fights for equal pay and playing conditions. But she still says “we.” She still believes in them and wants what is best for them. Seeing how much she’s been shit on and polarized and ripped apart throughout her life, and yet to this day she remains so humble and so soft spoken and so passionate about fighting for a national team and fellow teammates whom she is not a part of anymore. Seeing the change she has fought for, seeing how she refuses to give up, because that’s how much she truly cares. But seeing how knowledgeable and genuine she is about the things she fights for is truly a source of pride as a fan.
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